Monday, January 2, 2012

Today's Reading: 1 Jn 2:22 - 28

Who is the liar?
Whoever denies that Jesus is the Christ.
Whoever denies the Father and the Son, this is the antichrist.
Anyone who denies the Son does not have the Father,
but whoever confesses the Son has the Father as well.

Let what you heard from the beginning remain in you.
If what you heard from the beginning remains in you,
then you will remain in the Son and in the Father.
And this is the promise that he mad us: eternal life.
I write you these things about those who would deceive you.
As for you, the anointing that you received from him remains in you,
so that you do not need anyone to teach you.
But his anointing teachers you about everything and is true and not false;
just as it taught you, remain in him.

And now, children, remain in him,
so that when he appears we may have confidence
and not be put to shame by him at his coming.


Saturday, November 26, 2011

Thankful for the Muppets

My boys spent the last few days with my parents and today they finally came home. I was surprised at how much I missed them and immediately ran to hug and kiss them and tell them how much I love them.

My mother teased me by asking them, "Are you sure you want to go home, boys? Don't you want to stay with Nonna and Poppa one more night?"

Owen looked up at Grandma, shook his head and said, "Uh-uh." That's my boy.

Dawson told me he was so happy to be home because he missed me. He gave me the biggest hug he could muster and told me he loved me. It's true what they say; absence makes the heart grow fonder.

The kiddos were in an unusually good mood. For a moment I wondered if they were the same children who left me on Wednesday. It didn't take long for my real children to surface.

"I'm huuuuungry!" Dawson whined.

Owen ran around the dining room, chasing the dog. Run, Murphy, run!

I tossed the boys in the bathtub and then we got dressed to go see the matinee showing of The Muppet Movie. Dawson's friends, Taylor and Trevor, came along with us. We had popcorn and sodas and I was thankful that the kids were well behaved.

Okay, Owen had a 5-second fit because he was out of popcorn but I quickly shared the rest of mine with him and all was right with the world again.

The movie was great. I felt like a kid again. I didn't realize how much I missed Kermit. And Miss Piggy. And Fozzie Bear. And Rowlf the Dog. And Beaker! Oh...and the Swedish Chef! "Aweenda shmure da froog's legs! Bork bork bork!" Can't forget Animal! My favorite crazy drummer. Jim Henson, you were a genius.

I sang along just like I did as a child.

"It's time to play the music,
It's time to light the lights,
It's time to meet the Muppets on the Muppet Show tonight."

Halfway through the movie, Dawson whispered to me, "Were these Muppets around when you were a kid?" I nodded and he said, "Wow, they're kind of old then, right?"
Oh, the pain in my heart! I'm not that old, kiddo!

Okay, maybe I am! Mahna Mahna!

I love that I can spend time with my boys doing fun things that they'll remember when they are all grown up.

I love these kids so much and I thank God each day for allowing me the privilege of being their mother. Life was good today.

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Wednesday, November 23, 2011

A Test of Faith

I'm feeling down lately. I am working on sorting through all of my emotions but it's more difficult than I anticipated. I'm going through some things that I haven't yet been able to put into words. I want to write what I'm feeling but I haven't felt right about it. I can only describe it in my head. It's as though my mouth has been covered with duct tape.

I realized a few days ago that I'm repeating a pattern day after day. I wake up early to get ready for work. I dress my kids and struggle to get them, and me, out the door on time. I spend eight hours working at a job I love (yes, I realize this makes me an insurance geek). I pick up the boys from school and daycare. I change into my pajamas and spend the rest of the evening doing my homework, helping Dawson with his reading assignments, and then reading the news online.

The news is part of my problem. I'm tired of reading article after article about missing babies, negligent parents who beat their 13-month-old babies to death and leave their toddlers unattended in a bathtub to drown. I'm sick of wondering what happened to Baby Lisa. I have cried every day over these tragedies. I have cried over Baby Tyler's death more than I care to admit. I'm still angry about Caylee Anthony's murder.

It's very difficult for me to admit that I've missed Mass several times over the last few weeks. I'm terrified that I'm losing faith in everything I thought I knew about God and His plan. However, I've found myself praying more often. It is God that has helped me to accept that Baby Tyler is in a better place. God saved him from his mother - and I know that sounds crazy. I would give anything to wake up tomorrow and realize Tyler's tragic death is a bad dream. I want so badly for him to be alive. I wish the same for Caylee. And the beautiful twin babies. I want all those children back. I want them safe from harm and loved and cherished. I want an end to abortion. When will it end? When will all this torture end?

These crimes against children eat away at me. Perhaps it's because I'm a mother and I love my children so very much. I would be out of my mind if something horrible happened to my boys. It's difficult for me to accept that some parents do not love their children as much. I cannot grasp the fact that some parents abuse or murder their children. To do such horrible things to an innocent child makes me sick to my stomach.

It's these thoughts that creep into my mind and for a brief moment I wonder why God would let these tragedies happen. I know in my heart that things happen for reasons I don't have the mental capacity to comprehend.

It is a test of my faith.

All I can do is pray. All I can do is believe that God is with us.


Sunday, October 9, 2011

Morning Mass

This morning the boys and I went to 10:30 a.m. Mass and they were well behaved! I am so amazed. For a split second I wondered what happened to my real children.

Dawson is usually very impatient, asking when it will be time to leave or when church will be over. Owen is the typical toddler who cannot sit still and tries to pull a Houdini when I'm not looking. Two weeks ago he made an escape underneath the pew. I was mortified.

I said a prayer last week for God to bless me with two little boys who did not cause a scene and I think my prayers were answered. Thanks be to God!

I'm teaching CCD this year. I had taken the last two years off after Owen was born because I was nursing and couldn't really leave him for more than half an hour. I thought it would only be a year hiatus, but it's difficult to manage two kids, work and school and be a catechist as well.

Dawson is in first grade this year and I decided to teach his class. I have 8 students and it's been a lot of fun so far. I've also acquired two teen helpers to assist me in the class room and this helps tremendously. The kids are less rambunctious when there is more than one "adult" present.

Dawson paid attention in Mass -- kneeling, sitting and standing when required and I was happy to see him singing along to songs he knows. We sat near the choir and Owen was fascinated with the pianist and cellist. He kept pointing and saying, "Play! Play!" It was quite cute.

Today I realized how blessed I am. I also realized that attending Mass is very important not only for me, but for the boys. They seem to be learning so much more than I expected and I'm so proud of them. God truly has given me very precious gifts.

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